Working the Med Wing Staff
by Valkyrie Smith
Summary: Valkyrie is tired and manages to hurt herself - but Skulduggery doesn't want to take her to a Mortal hospital... Complete, one-shot, humour. Enjoy!


**Hello! Okay, I don't think there's anything for me to say... Enjoy!**

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Valkyrie was having a bad day. Already, she had been in three fights, missed an easy arrest and not had anything to eat and it was only three in the afternoon. All she wanted to do was to go home, shower, eat pizza in bed and fall asleep. But she couldn't go home because she didn't know where her parents or the reflection were, because the reflection wouldn't pick up its damn phone. So, she was at Skulduggery's house. It was okay, since it had a phone to order pizza and her own bed and a shower, but it wasn't _her_ home. And there was no change of clothes.

Sighing, Valkyrie pulled herself up the stairs, as quickly as her legs could manage, which is to say, one step every thirty seconds or so.

"Valkyrie, don't forget that you need to write your reports," Skulduggery called.

Valkyrie grunted a reply. She took a few more slow steps.

"Oh, Valkyrie, remind me to go get my clothes from the laundry people later, yeah?" He asked.

She made another grunt and climbed another few steps.

"Valkyrie, don't forget, I need to –"

"Skulduggery, it's _you_ that needs to remember, not me!" She shouted back, standing still.

"Yes, but that's not the point. I need _you_ to remind me, _for_ me to remember, so I am telling _you_ so that I can do the remembering _myself_ in my brain. Not that I have a brain –"

"Skulduggery! Just shut-" Valkyrie turned around quickly and slipped on a step.

She screamed and heard Skulduggery start running through the house. But it was too late. Valkyrie lay at the bottom in a heap, her leg bent at a funny angle. She clenched her teeth against the pain and tried not to scream.

Skulduggery made sure she hadn't hit her neck, head or spine – she hadn't – and then lifted her up bridal style. He managed to get her to the car and sit her up in the front seat by himself, no help from her opening things. He went around the car quickly and got in the driver's seat and they were off in no time.

After a few minutes, the shock and initial, really bad pain passed and Valkyrie was able to focus on what was around her. They had passed the shops and residential areas, and were now zipping down country lanes. She glanced at Skulduggery. He looked stressed.

She knew they were going to the Sanctuary, but she wasn't entirely sure why. She had sustained a mortal injury in a mortal way, instead of her normal stomach-hanging-out-of-her-torso-because-a-maniac-blew-her-up sort of injury. They would have to bluff.

They skidded to a halt and Valkyrie opened her door ready to be helped out as Skulduggery ran around the side of the car. He got to her and put an arm on her waist and left elbow to get her out. Then, he just wrapped an arm around her middle to get her into the building. They passed lots of different sorcerers, but none of them seemed concerned to see a teen girl with her leg at a weird angle, because the teen girl was _Valkyrie_. A few sighed or shook their heads, but they were all ignored.

The burning in her leg intensified as she got closer to the Med Wing. She wasn't using it, but she was moving and had to use the muscles to keep the broken leg off the ground. It hurt a _lot_.

Skulduggery opened the door and when to hound down one of the high up doctors as she sat peacefully on a chair. It took almost ten minutes for Skulduggery to get back.

"That's not my usual doc," she stated, looking at the young male doctor. He look only twenty-five. He still had acne and was nerdishly thin, but not in a cute way.

"They wouldn't let anyone else come. They said your injury was too small," Skulduggery said. "I tried, but…"

She shrugged and looked to the young man. His name was on his pale blue shirt, but Valkyrie decided to call him Benji, because she thought he looked like a Benji.

"Hi, Benji," she said.

"Hello, Valkyrie. That's not my name, but I'm sure you know that," he said with a sigh. "You have a bad reputation for doing this."

"Or a good one, if you look at it from a different angle."

He laughed slightly and motioned them over to a bed. Skulduggery helped her stand and get onto the bed. Now came the fun, she knew.

"So if you could just explain how you got the injury and fill in all the boxes on here," he said, passing over a sheet.

"She fell down the stairs," Skulduggery said absentmindedly as he rummaged around for a pen in his pockets.

"She fell down stairs?" Benji asked before looking between them, anticipating the impending argument. "We can't treat mortal injuries I'm afraid. It's not a part of our policy. You'll-"

"I was pushed down them," Valkyrie interrupted casually.

"By an ogre," Skulduggery said.

"An ogre?" Benji asked.

"Yeah. It was trying to eat me."

"Not sure why though," Skulduggery said as he filled in the boring boxes for her. "You'd be chewy and horrid I'll bet."

"Oi! I bet I'd be lovely!"

"So you want to be eaten by an ogre? Or at all?"

"No, I just disagree with being called chewy and horrid."

"Okay," Benji said loudly, interrupting their argument. "I'll go get the stuff to fix your leg. Stay here."

Benji left and the Detectives watched him go. When he was out of sight, they high-fived.

"We're expects at working the health care system here," Valkyrie said.

"It's terrible to steal resources like this really. I should arrest us."

They looked at each other a few moments, and then started to laugh.

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***grin strangely* I haven't written humour in a while, but hopefully, I'm not too out of touch! Please review - it helps me improve!**


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